Margaret Ntifo's Blog

We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other,

We are travellers on a cosmic journey - star dust, swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal. But the expressions of life are ephemeral, momentary, transient.

Buddha once said "This existence of ours is as transient as autumn clouds. To watch the birth and death of beings is like looking at the movements of a dance. A lifetime is like a flash of lightning in the sky."

We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share. This is a precious moment, but it is transient. It is a little parenthesis in eternity. If we share with caring, light heartedness and love, we will create abundance and joy for each other. And then this moment will have been worthwhile.
--Deepak Chopra

The Seven Spiritual Laws Of Success

The signs were always there

What you come to realize in the end is that for someone to have treated you badly the signs must have been there from the beginning, if only you had paid more attention to them, or interpreted them correctly to have had the ability to make the right choices. Still, hindsight is always beneficial to analyze things at a later time.

The thing is to consider any experience however unfortunate as a learning experience. The sum total of our life purpose is what we have learned from our experiences and how we use this learning to make better informed choices. Never mind the past, what are you going to do now?

It seems to me that we are all wired differently. I noticed an uncanny difference between my two daughters. One is quite definite in her judgment of people and rather perceptive. Despite her age, she seems to instinctively be a good judge of character and once disappointed will not allow it to happen again. I admire and marvel at how she can quite simple just draw things to a close, without much ado. My other daughter is more like me. We tend to continually give people the benefit of the doubt and keep going back for more mistreatment.

Whether we are wired differently, or not, we all have the capacity to fine-tune our responses to enrich our lives. I am learning to be a better judge of who will, or will not treat me well, and to accept that once a person sets out to treat you a certain way, the likelihood is this will not change. Part of the learning is to accept these people for who they are and, move on. Whatever they are is not about you, it is more about them, and they need space away from you to sort out their own mess.

Moving on is liberating and powerful. It’s like accepting that you do not have to hang around to sort out other people. You do not need to hope that others will change. You don’t even have to wish that they sort themselves out. You just have to be… and just be!

Our Deepest Fear

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves - Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Marianne Williamson

Michelle Obama’s Sound Advice

Michelle Obama is certainly a force to be reckoned with.

With her welcoming smile and pretty clothes she is a sharply intelligent woman who talks excellent common sense.

Addressing children at Christchurch College, Oxford on a visit to the UK recently, she told them,

“To succeed at a place like this, you just have to work hard, you have to push yourself. More importantly you have to believe in yourself”.

Later, she gave some true-to-life dating advice.

“Reach for partners that make you better. Do not bring people in your life who weigh you down.”

Her advice definitely struck a chord with me. Any successful relationship thrives on mutual love, respect and self-belief. One of the worst relationships to be in is one where your partner can only feel secure by keeping you down so they can feel the superior one.

This is a real problem faced by many women. Most of us feel stuck, and continue to stay with partners who are extremely insecure, men who are threatened by us women such that the only way to make themselves feel better is to put the women down. Such men harbor their own insecurities and are trying to deflect attention by their behavior. A person who puts others down is quite often feeling insecure about their own worth. At the helm of this behavior lies the wish to control. The man who feels powerless wants control.

We women must listen to Michelle Obama’s advice, and not settle for men who not only put us down, but weigh us down! Wish as we may, this is one problem that is not going to go away. You see, the answer to this problem does not lie with us, hence we have absolutely no control over the solution. The man is either secure, or insecure. Tell me, 'how many men are men enough to admit to feelings of insecurity?' No amount of wishing on our part is going to solve that problem. Food for thought!