I just communicated with a fine lady whose divorce lasted less than 61 days. 61 days! I felt inclined to count the days mine has been pending and was rather shocked that it’s now been 1217 days and I am still counting. There’s always been a reason to adjourn it, be it a technicality or an ‘Academic Exercise’, last one being ‘the judge was ill’! Fancy that! It’s been a complete and utter madness. But what do you do when the other party is so autistic and envious that all they want to do is destroy you? Yes, you can agree with all their delusional demands or…
Well, it shouldn’t be long now. Everything that has a beginning has an end. ‘This too shall pass’ so I continue to wait patiently.
On a lighter note, I have been wondering what I will do when it finally comes to an end? Many think a divorce party sounds corny, but despite how it may sound I really want the chance to celebrate its' end and the beginning of my new life. I have always regarded my divorce more of a fresh new start than the end of an era. I accept that it is a bit of both, like the difference between half-full and half-empty.
Now that I find myself focusing on the end I feel this lightness of heart and quickening of spirit. I honestly can’t wait. It’s been extremely stressful and what is more frustrating is how long it has taken. Still, I guess we must learn to lay in wait for a good thing.
So, how am I going to mark the occasion? I’ll start a brainstorm list of ideas.
- A well-deserved holiday with my children, maybe to the States, Bahamas or Coconut Grove Resort in Ghana? They absolutely loved it there!
- The divorce party?
- A quiet dinner? – Hmm, not my cup of tea. Doesn’t sound much like a celebration
- Train for a marathon and run it to mark the occasion?
- A boudoir décor?
- Release 1217+ helium balloons to mark the number of wasted days
One thing for me, it is not going to be a time for mourning, been there, done that. It is going to be a time for celebration.
There are some people dead against the idea of celebrating a the end of a marriage, people who think that: “Of course there may be a relief in shedding a horribly violent husband or an alcoholic wife, but that doesn’t take away from the underlying misery — the disappointment in seeing the end of a loving act of creation.”
And in reference to the subject of a divorce party, they say “Could there be anything more shallow and trivial?”
There can only be “underlying misery” if you let it and why is a divorce party any trivial and shallow than a wedding party, or a baby shower? All these are celebrations to mark an important life-transition. It’s the meaning you give to them that counts. We are happy to mark ALL life-transitions with a memorable celebration – birth, Holy Communion, marriage, birthdays etc. Why not divorce? It’s about time we stopped attaching so much negativity to divorce. The stigma will be there, only if we continue to give it a negative meaning. Most divorcees feel differently nowadays.
For me, I will continue to add to my list of how I am going to celebrate the end of being attached, or associated to this jerk!
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